Credits: Rox & San
I know that the average wedding official is not always put in a positive light. Too bad, because that is not necessary. Try to look for an officiant that suits you!
There can often be more than you think during a wedding ceremony. If you find an official who wants to think along with you, you can make a very personal wedding closure.
Of course it is important that the civil servant tells something about you, the bride and groom, but why should he or she not tell you something about your youth as a tribute to your parents! (Hopefully these are nice memories, otherwise you'd better leave out that). Or do you want to say something yourself or give them something?
If one of the parents is deceased, or another dear one, you have to consider whether you want to have that told in the ceremony or not. My advice would be to do it, so that the deceased also gets the place he or she deserves.
A nice symbol is to light a candle at that time.
And in that story of you comes the proposal, of course, because that can be a nice bridge to the I dos.
The moment that matters; you are invited to stand and hold each other's right hand, I always say to my bridal couple "look at each other", because I may ask the question but of course you give the answer to each other! And that legal question is: "Do you accept your husband / wife, and do you faithfully promise to fulfill all the duties that bind the law to the marital status? What is your answer to that? "Then I would like YES, the shortest and in this case the best answer! After your yes (and after the confirmation of the officiant) you are really legally married! There may be kissed and you really do not have to wait until the wedding official says that the groom can kiss the bride ...
It is customary to exchange your rings after the I dos. Nice if there is someone in your company who brings them to you. Often the City Hall has a ring cushion where the rings can be placed on. Ask this before, otherwise you can come up with something yourself, even though most boxes are beautiful too. It is nice if they are positioned in advance, together with the wedding card and the wedding booklet (bring the wedding card with you in your conversation with the officiant).
Then the signing of the marriage certificate follows. That happens, by the bride and groom, the witnesses and the officiant. Pay close attention to the instructions, because the location of the signature comes very close. Some couples give their witnesses as a reminder an (engraved) pen with which they first sign the deed and then keep the pen. If you do, tell the officer and do NOT take the box (the chance that the witness has a lot of trouble, read: nervous, with the opening of the present and that takes just too long). The color of the ink in the pen is important, with most municipalities being drawn with black, but also ask for that. If you use music during the ceremony, the moment of drawing is also a good moment for musical support.
So, the most exciting part is finished. You are legally married and the civil servant will highlight this in the closing words and then congratulate you and hand you your marriage certificate.
And then: Time to party! Enjoy this special day in your life.
TIP! Nowadays it is also possible to marry on every location you want. You may marry in the Netherlands in every municipality. So why not looking for a very personal or special place, where you can experience your unique moment of marriage in peace, with champagne!
If you have found a venue that is not an official wedding location, an independent wedding official can offer a solution.
And why do you not actually marry abroad? For example just over the border in the Belgian Ardennes, or in France, Spain or Italy ... Europe is beautiful and then a long weekend away with that group of people who are most important in your life, then getting married is very special! With your own wedding official from the Netherlands, much more is possible than you think.
But loyal to yourself is the most important thing!
N.B. This blog was written by Marielle Jongmans in February 2012
